Lie To You

No poisons are whispered or veiled,
You are not wrong to bestow trust,
But considering what my true feelings entail,
Lie to you I feel I must.

I’ll never dry your eyes with a lie,
I’ll never blanket you with deceit,
I’ll never repay honesty with falsehoods.
I’ll answer any question you ask,
Hand on heart,
Fingers uncrossed.
Just please don’t ask.

I’d never say the word “love” without meaning it,
But I assure you, this isn’t shallow lust.
All I know is there’s no way you’re feeling this,
So lie to you I feel I must.

There’s no game plan here,
There’s no ulterior motive,
No premeditated tricks to lull you,
Make you think I’m something I’m not.
I’m not an octopus,
Constantly shifting,
Hoping to slip into your heart through a tiny crevice.

It would be wrong to play your heart like a game,
I know that, but lie to you I feel I must
Because I just know you’d never feel the same.
It’s not about holding out hope for an us.

You’re happy walking down your path,
I’ll settle for the grass beside it.
I do not intend to make you question
My words,
My steps,
My intentions.
You’d prefer the lie if you knew the truth.

The truth is,
I would choose eternal silence,
Despite each and every aching heartbeat,
If it meant I could make you smile just once.

Published in L’amour: A Writing Society Anthology by the University of Essex Writing Society, 2017.

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